Cold in Heart and Body
by Lizzybethx
Summary: Lily is ill. Not seriously so, but ill all the same. So walking to the remembrance garden, in the cold, all by herself was probably a bad idea. It's a good thing Ethan's on shift. Lithan one-shot.


Sirens wail. Monitors beep. Patients cry and swear. Doctors shout. Lily's head feels stuffy, her hearing muffled and her temperature high. The never-ending noise drives like a hammer against her skull. Blearily she stares at Connie. Connie is talking slowly, her painted lips moving, questioning Lily's health.

"Lily!" A hand waves before her face.  
"Yes Connie?" Lily asks wearily.  
"Never mind. I think you need some fresh air and a drink. Go sit in the remembrance garden."  
Lily leaves Resus quietly, almost stumbling over her own feet. Connie shrugs, sighs something about F2s pushing themselves too hard and risking patients health, and calls for someone to send Dr Hardy in to replace Dr Chao.

Lily blinks, once, twice, three times. Her vision remains unfocused, even through her glasses. She sits down gingerly on the wooden bench. The cool air prickles her face but the sound remains constant, her headache increasing in strength and blurring her thoughts. She watches the darkened sky move slowly, an airplane shooting across the view. Gradually her vision dims and she feels herself slipping away. Her eyelids shut and she slumps, head lolling, on the seat, unconscious.

* * *

Connie removed her gloves, another patient successfully treated. Turning to Robyn she asked after Lily. When the nurse informed her that Lily had yet to return to reception, Connie felt a flicker of anxiety. The young doctor was unlikely to have left her shift without informing the desk and she had looked genuinely unwell. Looking across at the young man making the final checks on an already stable patient, she smiled inwardly.  
"Dr Hardy!"  
"Yes, Mrs Beauchamp?"  
"You've done very well with this case. Would you just take a minute to see if you can find Dr Chao?"  
"Of course, Mrs Beauchamp. I shouldn't be long."  
"Take your time. But turn the pager on!" Connie called after him through the swing doors.  
Ethan walked quickly through the busy ED, scanning the passing heads for the shiny black hair of the young F2 or the rectangular glasses that always framed her eyes. Following in the direction he had seen her head before he was called into Resus, he came to the front desk where Noel was of little help. Having been pointed in the rough direction of the door leading to the ambulance bay, Ethan hurried to find her.

He was fully aware that 20 minutes or so (he had been told) was a relatively long time to disappear and then not return for someone feeling ill. As he stepped out into the murky darkness of the London dusk, Ethan was worried for Lily. The air was bitingly cold for this time of year, so minor complications were likely if she had contracted flu or a severe cold.

Ethan looked around, unable to see Lily anywhere. His mind began to flood with thoughts of her collapsed on the concrete, bleeding or unconscious. After what seemed an endless period of searching he found her, seemingly asleep on a bench. Mentally berating himself for his paranoia, Ethan reached to shake her shoulder while calling her name aloud.

"Lily, are you okay? It's Ethan." When there was no response he began to call more insistently. "Lily, wake up. Lily? Lily!" When the young woman remained unresponsive, Ethan felt the fears returning. Checking the pulse in her wrist, he swore. Her hands were ice cold. Her pulse seemed healthy -if a little weak- but gently touching his backhand to her forehead, he found her freezing and paler than usual. Standing up, he looked down at the helpless form of the unconscious doctor and felt a twinge in his heart. Calling her name again in vain, he swore louder when she remained unconscious. Repeating the breathing and pulse checks, Ethan confirmed his suspicion that she was stable but at risk if she remained in the cold for much longer.

Standing tall, he looked around for anyone he could send for a trolley. When he saw that there was no one about, he groaned quietly. Ethan really wished he would be able to stay with her in case her condition deteriorated. That was the one and only reason of course. Watching the doctor's chest move shallowly, Ethan felt a pang of sympathy and kindness. Scanning the surroundings for a doctor, nurse or porter, he once again saw no one. Taking a deep breath, he crouched beside the bench.  
"Lily? I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, its just me. It's Ethan. And I'm so sorry about this but I do need to get you somewhere inside. Now. This is very awkward but you're ill and this is the quickest way to get you to the nurses."

He swallowed nervously before gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders, cupping her lolling head in his elbow. Gingerly he slid his arm under her knees and cautiously lifted her slender form from the bench. Ethan continued talking, quietly and soothingly, as he carried the surprising light doctor towards the ED entrance. For a seeming infinity, he held her, walking slowly and carefully, focusing on nothing but the woman in his arms.

Her head stirred. Ethan talked louder and more insistently, forcing himself to remain calm, while attempting to rouse her from her faint.

Suddenly he was in the ED, surrounded by nurses and patients; some shocked, others impressed. A shout was started for a trolley but Ethan pushed through the multitude of people, directly towards a cubicle. The curtain was moved away in a blur of colour as Ethan watched Lily's face for any sign of consciousness or awareness. Tentatively, he placed the delicate woman on the bed, answering the barrage of questions with single words. Just as Ethan completed a general information transfer (pulse weaker than liked but there, pale in colouring and freezing cold in the extremities) his pager beeped in his pocket.  
"Do you want to treat her?" Lofty asked warily.  
"No." Ethan replied almost immediately. "Even if i did, Resus calls.", he continued waving the flashing pager between them. Then looking down at the young woman, vulnerable and fragile on the sterile hospital bed, Ethan spoke more quietly, care etched into the essence of the sentence. "Look after her." Smiling he turned away, walking slowly through the swing doors to Resus.

* * *

Lily feels herself swaying, physically moving. Somehow her confused mind concludes that she is being carried. Being carried in someone's arms, held close against a comfortingly firm chest. The background noise begins to gradually twist into talking, kindly if worried talking. Lily realises she recognises the speaking voice addressing her: Ethan. It's him, it's only Ethan, he tells her. She's not to worry, she's safe, he just needs to get her inside, to a nurse. Lily tries desperately to open her eyes, to think straight but her mind has been replaced with cottonwool -it's impossible. The talking becomes more insistent, louder but Lily can sense herself slipping away once more.

She awakes, suddenly aware she is falling. But the arms, his strong, warm arms remain around her, telling her she's safe, not to worry, he's here and he'll protect her. But dropping downwards, she finds herself lying on a remarkably uncomfortable bed. Another voice, one she is aware of knowing but not now, not with her head in this state, is barely loud enough for her to hear. Ethan is talking again. She listens as closely as she can but her ears are blocked and distort the noises she hears. But then the arms unwrap and she is almost flat on her back. The cold seeps back into her bones and fear grows in her stomach but she can sense herself losing consciousness again, as Ethan's voice becomes quieter and quieter. Her heart pangs at the loss of security but the pain in her head increases until it blocks out everything.

* * *

Ethan let the doors swing loudly behind him. Mrs Beauchamp looked up to see the doctor carefully remove a speck of dust from his eye, behind his glasses, before walking to the patient in the centre of the room. A few rudimentary inquires and Ethan learnt he was not needed for this patient. Connie then turned the questioning on him, asking after Dr Chao. After Ethan gave a few details about her health Connie was satisfied and her mind returned to the patients before her. Ethan, on the other hand, was finding it much harder to focus, his thoughts continually returning to the young woman he had last seen lying, beautiful but so very breakable, unconscious on a hospital bed.

Mrs Beauchamp's shouting broke into his head, taking him to the side of a young woman who had collapsed and was currently not breathing. Ethan worked hard and helped save the twenty-something-year-old from a painful death by asphyxiation but it was clear -to Connie- that his heart was not in his work. It was instead waiting anxiously by the bed of another unconscious patient. Glancing at the clock, Mrs Beauchamp sighed realising that in the last 90 minutes of a shift she was going to have three different doctors assisting her.

Turning to glare at Ethan, she spoke quickly and decisively before her head overruled her far too emotional heart. "Go."  
"Sorry, what?"  
"Go. Be there when she recovers consciousness. She may not owe you her life, but her heart is a different matter." After a moment or so of complete surprise, Ethan then reacted quickly, dashing from the room towards the cubicle in which Lily lay.

Opening the curtain he saw her lying there, so pretty and delicate, her eyes closed; Ethan could almost pretend she was sleeping. However the doctor within overruled as he checked her pulse and listened for breathing. He stood quietly by the bed, smiling down at her, satisfied that all was well and she would wake up soon.

* * *

Lily becomes aware of a presence besides her, checking her obs, telling Lofty to leave and to treat another patient. As he whispers something quietly in her ear, Lily recognises Ethan's voice. After a few moments of fighting the dogged fatigue and severe headache, she manages to open her eyes. She stares unseeingly for a few seconds before adjusting to the slightly blurry scene, now without her glasses. Ethan's face leans over hers talking slow, so she can understand him. He is telling her she only has flu -the proper, feel-like-hell, full-blown influenza, type flu though.

But she is barely listening. Instead she is staring into his eyes, watching his mouth move and rejoicing in the care and (dare she say it) love pouring off him in waves. Lily gazes up at him, childishly happy despite the exhaustion and de-habilitating blackness, both on the fringe of her peripheral vision and consciousness.

* * *

Ethan stared down at the young doctor lying on the bed, fully aware that she was not listening to a single word he said, but not giving a thought to it because she was as happy as could be thought, when one has been inflected with influenza. Her eyes had care and he thought (although he was somewhat afraid to think it) love shining within them. Gently he reached down to touch her cheek, as the two doctors gazed at each other, both reflections of the other.

Until Lily started coughing violently and eventually lay back, washed-out and pale, leaving Ethan feeling his heart twist in pain. Just as he sank into the seat beside the bed, now holding her hand within his his, Lofty walked in. After a few more questions to confirm the diagnosis, he repeated to Lily that she had influenza, and informed her that bed rest with plenty of fluids was all he recommend. Awkwardly he asked if there was anyone who could look after her, or at least check up on her a few times a day. Before Lily could answer (in the negative) Ethan interrupted.  
"Yes."  
"Who?" Lofty asked slightly surprised.  
"Me. I'll take care of her."  
"Okay. I'll get the notes and then you're free to go." Lofty left quickly, with the clear intention of talking to Robyn about everything that just occurred.

Lily attempted to sit up -much to Ethan's concern as he helped her- coughing once more.  
"What did you say -_cough_\- that for?" Lily gasped out painfully.  
"I'm going to look after you, just till you get better of course, but you're ill. So someone has to. And Caleb isn't a fan of that kind of bedside manner." Ethan spoke, not altogether confident, he wasn't about to be shouted at by the young doctor lying in the bed.

But Lily smiled a little at his nervousness. "I wouldn't want Cal anyway. I'd rather have you, if it's all the same to you.", was what she attempted to say but after a painful coughing fit, Ethan was only able to understand something about choosing him of Cal, making any envy or jealously left within him die instantly. He smiled back at Lily, fully aware that the next few days of influenza were going to be rather nasty, and the return to work would be embarrassing -to say the least. However right in that moment, neither Ethan, nor Lily, gave the future a single thought.

* * *

**Hi all!**

**Sorry I've been really inactive recently. I don't have any excuses, except a blalant lack of ideas. (If you have any suggestions or requests PM me or review.) Anyway, this will probably remain a one-shot for the foreseeable future unless inspiration strikes on Saturday. **

**Hugs, Elizabeth**


End file.
